"Why I Participate"

 

Why I Participate:

I participate because I don't want to leave! Or rather, I'm here because I'm meant to and want to be here,

"Instead

I didn't find the majestic dream I was looking for when I was attending UC Berkeley classes and received a diploma; I only found it when I was attending hospital visits and received a diagnosis instead." (Flickers of Hope, Pareja [October 24, 2014 12:32am])

And with each movement I'm making, I bring things back to the ground or higher in sync with the strum of my heartbeat and footsteps. Whether it's improving advocacy and raising more awareness or for ​each new stride my mind can and will touch and achieve​ in fundraising, volunteering, initiating and leading or just participating in ​living alongside our orange hued horizon​s, My Story and this perseverance will be stronger than My Sickness and won't ever falter, trip, forget or lose again.

⚡

For that, please at least remember that one day you can CHECK ME OUT, using science which is soOo absurd, in a laboratory working to attach Dr. & NeuroImmunology Ph.D to ​my name​ ​that STILL incurably competes​ against itself. Nevertheless, my everything is "still" for that same rival that unequivocally deserves to own and be called ​my first best friend​ who's in the same electrochemical conjunction and thunder with the other 2.4 million people and their own significant circumstances and others , who would ALSO look ​Magnificently Sexy ​with that kind of healthy support too.

Welcome Back Home — After 2022 Congratulations!

I’m so ecstatic because I tested negative on the home COVID19 Testing Kit! Was just worried after visiting my youngest sister, Ruhiyah Michelle Pareja, because I had two episodes of Diarrhea once arriving in Irvine for the weekend until Wednesday today. She tested positive beforehand and was able to fortunately test negative when she was insurmountably in need of getting rid of it - but why else more exceedingly so?

She tested negative on the day before the day she graduated from the University of California, Irvine, with a Bachelors of Science in BioMedical Engineering! Hell yes, my twin sister joined me in being a UC Alumni! I’m so everlastingly excited for her and the next steps and plans she’s got up on her sleeves next. 

What more now

Multiple Sclerosis isn’t affecting me anymore in the way like it used to — it feels like just the title to a plethora of my years growing older. As of right now, it’s kindly letting me breathe and hang on as I hold myself up while I’m laying in bed — in peace. What’s more I’m getting my next #Ocrelizumab infusion on the 21st of this June and I think I’d like to sleep it thru too. #IVBenedrylplease & goodnight world.

Reset UC Berkeley email address today and need to get calendar more set up!

Need to tell don about dental appointment on April 7 too. 

“To MinMin’s 2 Dozen”

“MinMin’s Two Dozen

Serves To Be Replayed With Me

Let Ate Dare Try”

#DRAFTS VS OCTOBER-_-🌚 ...😇🕑👿😝💪🏼🌚🌚🌚🐶🌹😘😘😘😬💖💘💝💟💗💓💞💕❤️💛💚💙💜🖤🕎🛐☮☸❓😳🥺🥳🥵🥰🥰🥰😂😘🥴🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶😁😱😎😡🎫🎫🎫🎗🎗🎗🥇🥇🥇🥈🥈🥈🥉🥉🥉🏵🎗🏵🎗🏵🎗🎭🎭🎭🎟🎟🎟👿👿👿👿😈😇 🕳🦠🧬💊⚗️🔮🏺⚱️💈🔬⚱️⚔️🛡🏺⚗️🔭📿🔮💉🧪🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧫🌡 “Min To The 24th; Min’s 2 Dozen; MinMin’s 2 DozZzenth Preclude
Til all of the Next Time’s Better Situated
Dozen Month’s Next Turned Try Agin
for Just Yet Anther 12 More of a Year’s Better Ones To Yet Come Back At Us All Again
#BomChikaWahWahStyle
#Let’s Dance Again Like It’s Just Alike The Ways That Remain To Served Better
Back By Us Now That Just Got Too Busy Trying Survive An Unforunately No Longer Incident Still Best Better Seen Thru TV Screens like The Ones We’ve All Known Were Enogh
To Have Scared Us All Enough With and
Really just doesn’t suit our charismatic selves just now
Anyway I’m Sorry I Couldn’t Better Figure Out How I Could Currently Tell You That I LOVE YOU SO MUCH and that.... for currently right now, that I would like to know where exactly, should I be Leaving Your Birthday Present At....MinMin?”

Another Breath Granted Back When Much Deserved!

#Neurologist #JoanneGuo #MSCenter #NeurologyUCSF

#PrimaryCarePractitioner  #ChinaBasinUCSF

#Psychiatrist #ErikaPizarroMD

Friday July 17, 2020 — 3:30PM

#Psychologist #JudithANichie #MA #CMT #MFT

Thursday July 16, 2020 — 3:00PM

My favorite “Princess Jasmin”, Happiest Birthday

July 7, 2020

MinMin’s Two Dozen

Serves To Be Replayed With Me

Let Ate Dare Try

Anyway aside from the Haiku — I’m Sorry I Couldn’t Better Figure Out How I Could Currently Tell You That I LOVE YOU SO MUCH and that....For currently right now, that I would like to know: 

Exactly where should I be Leaving Your Birthday Present at MinMin?!

If You Like It Put A Ring On It; Triple Double Ring That Bell

I had one of my rings engraved finally! The Reason why I always keep a ring on the "wedding ring finger", is because I use it as an excuse against creepy people.. 😁🙌🏼👌🏼👍🏼

                If you like it, but a ring on it;

                Triple Double Ring That Bell

And now, I actually wanted to touch base with the honest idea behind LOVE itself, FIRST.  Specifics being the yes, courageous in my personal perspective and insights,  the ability to love one's own and entire self; despite any pessimistic imperfections and inabilities.

More so and for the sake of feminine empowerment, I now want to wear this ring as my own promise to myself, that I'll love myself better and in sickness or in health.  Alongside of that simplicity, this is also for all women (dad don't be offended!  It's just that diamond studded rings don't exactly suite you, but I love you all in the same way!).  In everything in all strides of mentalities, behaviors and color lit emotions, this second take and metal breath are now engraved with the first letter initials of my crazy nuclear family's independently STRONG  women with their own golden states of Mind, Soul and Brilliance !  

So maybe not that paradoxical, but still nevertheless leaking its infamously observed irony, is that this will endlessly say "JDRZ", and to me that notion will solidly prove that I will and am passionately getting the even higher education I seek and even more profusely now, for the entire family that has never let me go.   ( Now, just be aware that I do plan to and will alter my full legal name, but you will and better be proud... 'cause I'm going for my 6th plate of a smart dinner. )

---

Daddy Dearest, hella down homie that's  done it the best friend way(!) & STRONGEST HEARTED AND INSPIRING MAN I KNOW, I will always be glad to thank you for illustrating and drawing out what it looks like to see a man love HIS woman and FAMILY, unconditionally.  Daddy, please remember this aside instead of a soliloquy, MARAMING SALAMAT for courting mommy and winning her with the same thing you've blessed your daughters with: ARTFUL EXPRESSIONS.

Moreover, I'm really glad that in my close to a quarter of a century span of life, I have been lovingly and passionately motivated to keep this world I am alive in, one that no longer blindly seeks ONLY the end of hardships, heartaches and pain.  Now I mean to continuously quench the missing link to instead see how ironically and NEVER sarcastically it is, to share welcome greetings.  I am now open to steadfastly pursue the CHOICE to accept the ugly things as well, for even if three years is a lot of time, it was worth my time in fighting for the everything I still have with me and/or is still just waiting for me to ring the doorbell.

In this year, I can appreciate the illumination of how beautifully gorgeous and fathomably happy and ridiculously thrilling it is that 1) Trust, 2) undeterred Dreaming and 3) Compassionately driven Hope can express in their coalescence with one another and for  everyone beyond just one individual. So to continue envisioning the images and the thunder struck PRIVILEGE to be 'feeling in some sort of way' like this,  I will reinforce and live my days and nights MUCH better and wiser NOW; No Opportunities Wasted.

I've got a lifetime in my hands, of which I already know I'll NEVER MIND it if I'm going to spend living the rest of my eternal hopes fortifying my reality that I was born for artistic creations, of which I'm certain will be splattered and decorated with the infinitely appreciated momentums of living the good life with ALL of the right people; so a shortcut clipping of my elongated excessive bouts of electronically spoken words, I am happy because of the life I have been persistently blessed with, like the tenacity of a tattoo.

From Dream Catchers to Catching A Dream

- 010914 

I'm a lucky Thunder, because I've been blessed to have so many seconds of my life with the man I've grown more fond of with all that's been said and done, broken and mended, built and fortified. I really appreciate it all, but I'm sorry if I'm selfish too and just love being with you because you feel like where I fit in physically and emotionally.

It might influence you to believe that I don't understand that you have your own life away from me, but I do. But sometimes love just looks blind. I may get carried away with wanting to always be with you lately, but perhaps it's just because I know that I'll miss you and I want to add more memories into what I can have a better chance at recollecting.

Let's cherish our yin and yang, our lightly and darkly complicated connection, where what stands true is that opposites attract more than how polar only mixes with polar. I'd much prefer to live in love, in our what seems to be limited yet limitless infinity. Let's break things and have fights, then take each other's hands to pick them all up then catapult them to better and higher skies where they'll land as what was once jagged edges before, but now just one refined synergetic system of a better life that is garnished with "having a good time".

Reason Why I'm Still Just A Flicker.

I wanted to share these three edits. Bold face/italicized text are things I experience, and these are more observable I believe for others that are around me now.  I have all three types, or rather, I have Mixed ADHD. Irregardless, Happy World Multiple Sclerosis(MS) Day, too.

"I have changed.

I'm sorry because I know these things have been negatively doing our ability to communicate, wrong. I wish I wasn't like this now.

I'm lucky however, because now I can properly recognize that it's more urgent and necessary for me to change my behaviors in both bridges of negligence.

Perhaps I have an affinity for writing because it's where I can't loose sight of my bodies of thoughts as easily, in comparison to when it's all just through a floating, but quickly vanishing at the speed of sound, verbal memory.

I write, because I need to write, but I am sorry that I just, talk. Too. Much. Too.

And with that, I wish I could've loved you better."

Medical Hygiene

             TWELVE

5 ℞, PERSCRIPTIONS [1- 5/6]

• Extavia; Interferon Beta-1b: by 2days

• Cytopralam / Celexa: 3 10mg tabs

• Clonidine: 1 1/2 tabs, 3-4x 0.1mg

• Doxycycline mono: 100mg tab twice

• Adderall / Dextroamphetamine  & Amphetamine, salts ): 2 5mg tabs x 

• Ritalin/Concerta; Methylphenidate 54mg

1 MULTIVITAMINS [1]

• One A Day Women's Multivitamin & Minerals

     • Calcium, elemental 500mg/50%

     • Chromium, 120mcg/100%

     • Copper, 2 mg/100%

     • Iodine, 150 mcg/100%

     • Iron, 18mg/100%

     • Manganese, 2mg/100%

     • Selenium, 20 mcg/29%

     • Vitamin A, 2500 IU/50% daily value

B   • Vitamin B1 (Thiamin), 1.5mg/100%

C   • Vitamin B2 (Riboflavin), 1.7mg/100%

O   • Vitamin B3 (Niacin), 20mg/100%

M   • Vitamin B5 (Folic acid), 400mcg/100%

P    • Vitamin B6 (pyridoxal, pyridoxine,   

        pyridoxamine), 2mg/100%

L    • Vitamin B7 (Biotin), 300mcg/100%

E    • Vitamin B9 (Pantothenic Acid),    

      10mg/100% 

X    • Vitamin B12 (cobalamin), 6mcg/100%

     • Vitamin C (ascorbic acid), 60mg/100%

     • Vitamin D3 (calciferol), 10K IU/2500%

     • Vitamin E (alpha-tocopherol),22.5 IU/75%

     • Vitamin K, 25mcg/31%

     • Zinc, 15mg/100%

2 MINERALS extended

• Vitamin B12 (cobalamin), 8000 IU (+2000)/2500%

• Ferrous Sulfate: 325mg, iron 65mg (+18mg)/1086%)

3 OTC

• L. acidophilus Philips colon health probiotic tabs; 1 proprietary s 1.5 billion cell blend cap

• Garcinia Cambrogia Extract: 2 caps,

1000mg, 60% hydroxycitric acid 

+ Calcium, 50mg/5%; Chromium, 200mcg/167%; Potassium, 50mg/1%; 

• Senna; sennosidrs: 2 8.6mg tabs twice

1 FEVER REDUCERS 

• Sodium Naproxen / Aleve

• Ibuprofen / Advil 

• Acetominophen / Tylenol

MuckFest MS 2014; email signature

Let It Burn

It's been more than two years, but  they've never been unmoved.  My heart sings with each word that illustrates what I'm living for, and they are drenched in love and honesty for my family and loved ones. It's been more than two years, and I'll stand stronger than my yesterdays, with each new tomorrow. It's been more than two years, and I'm winning more than I'm losing, but it's still time to endlessly call all in with fearlessness to become the woman I dream to be. One flicker at a time. @_flickersof_hope 

"Stupidity"

It's been more than 2 1/2 years. Multiple Sclerosis (MS) doesn't scare me anymore, but why not? It's been more than 2 1/2 years. 

Both me and MS itself, are fearful of the other friend, Clinical Depression, instead. It's been more than 2 1/2 years. 

Multiple Sclerosis (MS) doesn't scare me anymore, and that's why not.

It's been more than 2 1/2 years. 

Supra Suppositional Stained Self

PWW - Misfortune & Fortune | [Panic & Wasted Wishes] D³ - Falsehood & Truths [Dangerous Delusions, Dummy] 

                  GGB - Death & Life [Go Get Begone]

September 3, 2014

            Is my writing supposed to be painful, too?  I'm sorry that I only have my writing left of my tints of just my own, that doesn't want nor needs to bend to anyone else's.  Until never, I will not lose trust and faith in what I write as it fights and lingers on to keep me unendingly aware that I'll always be alright.  And that's why I say that my writing doesn't yearn to be deceitful, when they're my most intimately tuned feelings, cognitive mentality and reality that just wants to be expressed and be known despite the fears that they hold.  

           Never said without truth, I've never been and will never be sorry that writing has become an everyday instead of every other day, sometimes piercing or smooth dose of who I am.  Without it, I wouldn't know if I would be able to find myself again where I left my memories stranded.  With the time that's passed and is still passing, I don't mind that I will always be led back to myself in the moments when I put a pen to paper or visit my words of the past and hopes for my tomorrows.  I also know that I write because I'm aware that my hands are more true and dependable than my spoken words.  Just like a "Replicated Refrain", the words in my writing will never desire deceit, despite the fears they and I only wanted to hide before.  And now I am holding onto my writing and everything else that comes along, above all of the hurt and ache that can come along too. 

            Tuning in with the former idea of aches, I saw and felt it when I finally realized that I completely stopped writing because I didn't want to accept the fact that I stopped living as me.   Since I wasn't myself anymore,  my words never could arrive if there was nothing worth of my writing in the first place.  The only justice I gave to myself was not letting my honest words be tarnished all because of how I internally gave up, strangled the future I only wanted to fight for and shriveled into a galaxy that lacked everything that mattered.  As blunt as a knife, I let myself forget and allowed myself to lose all of my healthy life filled shades and hues within the woman I truly never stopped loving, in the day I decided to carelessly set her aside anyway.  I searched and strived to be someone else, who didn't feel depression or loneliness and refused to accept the fact that that was my truth.  As I easily cowered in the most selfish escapade I have ever lived through, in which I lived in as the woman that I was never meant to be, I realized only after I started to accept the repercussions of living without genuine tact and self respect, that life is only worthless if they are someone else's.  That is exactly what I pursued and the reason why I let myself carry the facade of an untruthful life that lacked the roots that fortified my beliefs in who I still really am, wanted to be and will only be from now on.

            At this moment, after turning around and recollecting my broken pieces, smiles and treasuring my recollections and walking wisely whole once more, I've let my silently screaming and naively neglected bubbly bravery meet me once more.  Now I say that my writing is here to stay and will never leave my world, because I've accepted that I'll never want nor need to numb anything in my breaths taken anymore.  With that, I'll never forget that my writing will keep me living and that it's far more than okay that yes, my writing is "supposed to be painful, too".

PWW - Misfortune & Fortune | [Perseverance & Waiting Wholeheartedly]     D³ - Falsehood & Truths [Dig Deeper, Darling]                        GGB - Death & Life [Gorgeously Growing Brighter]

Tears > Phlem > Snot > Blood

The day I cried at Planet Fitness.

37.8717° N, 122.127128° W

* Berkeley looks so lusciously vibrant today & not unkept or pained. 

* Sometimes it looks so empty despite the civilization, for there's a heavy lack of light and luster in everyone's eyes, beliefs and hearts.

* But wouldn't life always be so serene and more chiseled yet delicate if we try not to be led by silly inanimate worries? 

* Always and always more than always, always let your worries fight for your worth and say that you're already okay anyway.

It can be so much in so many and little ways, but the most beautiful simplicities in a usual day and night require just an ample trust in the most intricate complexities ingrained within its grounds relentlessly already.

Maybe simple really just stands for a perfectly imperfect complexity that is worth more than the lonely bits and pieces, as Aristotle says.

* The colors, shades, hues, grays and textures are just there, waiting already. Maybe happiness wants you just as much as you want it...

* Berkeley looks so lusciously vibrant today & not unkept or pained.

Yay Or Nay?

I thought about this on November 11, 2013 at 7:03am, but I've never actually tried it out.

This is my personalized version of a Beer Flight, but I'd prefer to go higher than flying. I hope my favorite 6 beers surpass the normal (5 beers) beer flight. 

We'd go from lowest to highest alcohol by volume. Start off with 4 oz of each beer until you've seen a shooting star at finishing your first Red Horse. The lapses are to ensure that all beers are tried, instead of being weaksauce and drinking just 4 or 5 beers.

Should be easy to get thru the first shooting star, which is just 2 beer bottles (4 cups) worth. We can keep on stacking up until you just CAN't remember what galaxy you're even in, which I hope happens after a total of drinking 12 beer bottles (24 cups) !!

The H's and Blue Moon are easy to get, Red Horse is  available nowadays from time to time and for Black Diamond Pale Ale, we'd need to go on a mini journey to the brewery to get the beer because it's still only sold on tap at restaurants, bars,etc. I'm also not trying to order a keg of black diamond  pale ale, which you CAN order at BevMo! Because that's a lot of motherfxn beer. 

Untainted Paragraphs

November 12 11:18PM 

I just happened to get inspired and wanted to text my friend Michelle Noriega real quick cause I wanted to mention a status she posted 

Which worked with my cousins post of a video of a song made for the Philippines and images of the Haiyan typhoon

That minute txt turned into paragraphs 

I find solitude and feel at ease when I write; I feel that "everything is going to be okay" if I just "DDD: D^3: Dig Deeper, Darling".  

And I must say that I appreciate the fact that I don't force myself to write, because I'm taking it all in when the inspiration starts off on the path of reality and truth

I have never tainted my words when it comes to my hopefully-will-be -one-day a real autobiography 

And I'm even more sure of that because I am fighting to never lie to myself and live on euphemisms

I want to feel every hue of color and shades of darkness and light

Because You're Here

From A Forgotten Movie