I've always been a nice girl, but having a brain disease hit actually what I believe to be my 21st birthday. I grew to be a cold bitch. I broke up with my 8 year ex who was the only person I truly fell in love with because I realized before my 22nd bithday that I didn't know who the hell I even was anymore. I never hated anyone as much as who I became, so I continuously loathed her and gave her all of my bitter spite. I wanted to take away from that girl the breaths that she was wasting. She didn't deserve the life she was blessed with.
That's when different coincidences came together and I was able to get brain scans after all of my what I would say, begging. I just wanted an answer and told my ex that I would come back to him after I returned to the girl he fell in love with. When I was driving home one warm sunny day, I realized that I didn't hate myself anymore and then I said out loud as my hands were shaking, "welcome home, Zarrin" because I realized that I finally was the girl that could be silly and laugh the same way I used to - the girl you fell in love with. But those happy tears at first were washed away with painful tears instead because I knew I was too late for you. A little more than a full hour of crying in one of the most unforgettable drives alone. Must there always be an emotional war inside of me?
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